Here begins the newest, most amazing musing from The Loudest Fan. Bow appropriately:
This post is an attempt to get more awesome things to show up in my ads, rather than banners for certain religions and political causes and such. So, the following is a list dripping with worthwhileness, approved by me.
Me
Dexter
Scott Pilgrim
Mario Kart Wii
Matt Besser
Sailor Jerry's Rum
Lawson Fusao Inada
Zooey Deschanel
Certain other women
Freaks & Geeks
David Fincher
Me
Comedy Death Ray Radio
Kevin Love
NCAA Div-I Athletics
Rob Huebel
Italian food
Jonathan Swift
Cracked.com
Streetlight Manifesto
Form over Content
Cherry Fanta
The West Coast
Federico Fellini
Me
LOST
The number 42
How the number '42' looks in this font
WTF with Marc Maron
twitter.com/theloudestfan
Charlie Kaufman
The Pipes of the Internet
Arrested Development
Robert Browning
Most Apple products
Lucille's Smokehouse BBQ
Showtime & HBO original programming
Cats, as opposed to dogs
Paul F. Tompkins
Drifter Pale Ale
Brevity
Doug Loves Movies
Adult Swim
Stanley Kubrick
Me
The Who
theloudestfan.blogspot.com
The Truman Show
Oscar Wilde
Mint ice cream with most any chocolate topping
Bob Ducca
AC/DC, as fronted by Bon Scott
BJ's Brewhouse
And last, but certainly nowhere even close to least, Me.
Liking the items on this list is a great start to succeeding at life, forever. You're welcome.
Showing posts with label life advice. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life advice. Show all posts
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Get over your prepubescent self
Here begins the newest, most amazing musing from The Loudest Fan. Bow appropriately:
I am a university student with an age befitting such a place in life. While I have not experienced even half of half of my expected life (173 years of pure awesome), I believe it's safe to say that I am an unerring authority on life itself.
Thus, meet one of my many annoyances: people who hype their middle school years. Now, I'm not talking about people who are proud of one or two accomplishments during these few years of life. What I am talking about are those who share more life stories from that time than any other. It simply makes no sense.
Middle school is childhood's middle child (the least-appreciated, though not under-appreciated, child of every family). It replaces the cuteness of elementary school ignorance with wannabe high school awkwardness, and it replaces high school's journey of social- and self-discovery with even more youthful meaninglessness. The worst of both worlds.
What must possess somebody to hype this insignificant period of schooling more than any other? Answer: lack of brain and/or personality. Every personal statement involving an event or accomplishment from that time must be succeeded by, "Oh, but that was back in middle school, so we all know that it therefore doesn't count for shit, really."
So, next time you think about telling some anecdote from your bitch-years, consider spacing it out at least a year or two from telling some other story from that time. Mentioning middle school two or more separate times in the same day, let alone in the same conversation, is unacceptable, and should be punishable by time (minimum 60 years) spent in some new, groundbreaking prison for the incurably pathetic.
Now, if you have the genuine misfortune of being such an individual who consistently perpetrates this kind of speaking, follow these 3 simple steps:
1. Every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep, spend 20 minutes looking yourself in the eye in the mirror, chanting, "NOBODY CARES" repeatedly the entire time.
2. Don't talk to people. Trust me, the awkwardness of being "The Quiet, Uncontributing One" is much better than being clinically pathetic.
3. Pretend as if the other parts of your life, especially WHERE AND WHEN YOU ARE NOW, are interesting. MAKE UP new backstory! Watch various movies and television programs dealing with these other times as research.
Isn't it odd that there are no series or movies devoted to middle school years that aren't solely marketed to the unfortunate kids who are currently experiencing that time? NO, IT'S NOT ODD. Programming for everyone else has run the gamut of subject matter from high school life to geriatric life, as well as younger childhood, and justifiably so. Every time in every person's life is better than middle school. Without exception.
You're welcome.
I am a university student with an age befitting such a place in life. While I have not experienced even half of half of my expected life (173 years of pure awesome), I believe it's safe to say that I am an unerring authority on life itself.
Thus, meet one of my many annoyances: people who hype their middle school years. Now, I'm not talking about people who are proud of one or two accomplishments during these few years of life. What I am talking about are those who share more life stories from that time than any other. It simply makes no sense.
Middle school is childhood's middle child (the least-appreciated, though not under-appreciated, child of every family). It replaces the cuteness of elementary school ignorance with wannabe high school awkwardness, and it replaces high school's journey of social- and self-discovery with even more youthful meaninglessness. The worst of both worlds.
What must possess somebody to hype this insignificant period of schooling more than any other? Answer: lack of brain and/or personality. Every personal statement involving an event or accomplishment from that time must be succeeded by, "Oh, but that was back in middle school, so we all know that it therefore doesn't count for shit, really."
So, next time you think about telling some anecdote from your bitch-years, consider spacing it out at least a year or two from telling some other story from that time. Mentioning middle school two or more separate times in the same day, let alone in the same conversation, is unacceptable, and should be punishable by time (minimum 60 years) spent in some new, groundbreaking prison for the incurably pathetic.
Now, if you have the genuine misfortune of being such an individual who consistently perpetrates this kind of speaking, follow these 3 simple steps:
1. Every morning when you wake up, and every night before you go to sleep, spend 20 minutes looking yourself in the eye in the mirror, chanting, "NOBODY CARES" repeatedly the entire time.
2. Don't talk to people. Trust me, the awkwardness of being "The Quiet, Uncontributing One" is much better than being clinically pathetic.
3. Pretend as if the other parts of your life, especially WHERE AND WHEN YOU ARE NOW, are interesting. MAKE UP new backstory! Watch various movies and television programs dealing with these other times as research.
Isn't it odd that there are no series or movies devoted to middle school years that aren't solely marketed to the unfortunate kids who are currently experiencing that time? NO, IT'S NOT ODD. Programming for everyone else has run the gamut of subject matter from high school life to geriatric life, as well as younger childhood, and justifiably so. Every time in every person's life is better than middle school. Without exception.
You're welcome.
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