Monday, May 18, 2009

Call yourself, "Emo" and get it over with, already

Here begins the newest, most amazing musing from The Loudest Fan. Bow appropriately:

"Replaced Spittle"

You could never hope to understand me
Despite this work's existence as plea
I'll write about you to my wit's end
I'm the first girl to ever have a tough crush.

Oh, identify my awesome craft
Consistent rhythm would be too daft
I choose not to rhyme right here and now
I'm the first girl to ever have a tough crush.

My imagery is fine and the vocab ain't bad
But my use of device and convention is sad;
I don't understand what it takes to express
I'm the first girl to ever have a tough crush.

Words like "bereft" and "fecundity"
I can reproduce prolifically,
In the hopes you'll think I'm smart
I'm the first girl to ever have a tough crush.

Being direct would make too much sense
And what I feel is unprecedentedly immense
So I hope you read this translucent verse
I'm the first girl to ever have a tough crush.

Now it's time for me to end in despair
Making you want to writhe and tear
Your own flesh into complete oblivion
I'm the first girl to ever have a tough crush.

-Whine E. Bitch